5 Funny Lies All Parents Tell Their Children

Have you ever thought your a bad parent for telling your children little white lies? Well you shouldn’t. I do it all the time, shame on me! Most mummy’s I know do too and those little white lies either save me tremendous amounts of hassle, or just give me the right giggles. Every parent at some point or another has had to tell a little fib to make life a tad easier, and lets face it, with toddlers running riot through the house sometimes you need the easy option! Here’s our top 5 funny lies that parents tell their kids:-


  • “You’ll go down the plughole if you don’t get out the bath”  Now this is a personal favourite of mine… for some reason if I even get as close as reaching for a towel, my daughter will start splashing, sliding up and down the bath, pretending to swim and just being a general pain in the bum because she knows I can’t catch her whilst she’s soaking wet! I normally let her think she’s winning for about 10 minutes then I give the plug release a good twist and she knows she’s in trouble! I shouldn’t laugh but the look of terror when she glances back at the open plug hole is just hilarious. #sorrynotsorry She is straight up and ready to get out!
  • “Mummy’s phone is broken” The whole broken record thing is by far the most irritating especially when its “mummy phone, phone mummy, mummy mummy, phone mummy, mummy phone tuutube (YouTube) mummy phone” The little broken or no battery phone works a treat! (Then tell them to go and use Dad’s)
  • “It’s your bedtime in a minute” No, its actually not. She has an hour to go but I feel the need to prepare her – and myself for the tantrum that’s about to come, and she can’t tell the time just yet so it’s ok. It’s more of a gentle reminder every 5 minutes in the hope she wont kick off as much as the night before! (yeah right) I feel like when I announce its nearly bedtime that makes it acceptable for me to have the first glass of wine? Surely?
  • “Your making your babies upset” This is one for bedtime when my daughter has me up and down the stairs every 5 minutes for one reason or another. She likes to have two or three babies in bed with her, she’s obsessed with them and tucks them all in neatly every night. ‘She gets the old ‘Lola look how your upsetting your babies – they really want to go sleep now and be quiet and your keeping them awake‘ She usually gives them a quick stroke on the head and settles down, then we do it all over again 10 minute later! Lola – 1 Mummy – 0
  • Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy – The biggest,most used fibs for kids EVER. The best part is all children know if they don’t behave none of these magical present wielding characters will turn up to see them! I have to admit to using the old Santa won’t come trick from at least October! Bad mum alert.


I’m pretty sure my daughter has her own funny little lies she keeps up her sleeve for me too, like she ‘didn’t’ eat the last lollipop in the cupboard or she ‘hasn’t’ just wiped her makeup all over my wall!

I hope you’ve managed to giggle at this thinking about your own funny fibs!

What’s your funniest lie you’ve ever had to tell your child? Comment or get in touch!

Chloe x