Working Mum Guilt.

When I was 14 I got my first job working at a hairdressers on Saturdays whilst I was still at school, and I’ve worked ever since.

I think the only break from work I had was being on maternity leave, which after 9 months I returned to my 40 hour a week job. I was adamant that I was going back full time and wanted to keep working as I always had, but having my baby really did change things for me.

After about a month I dropped down to 4 days a week, it gave me one day to spend quality time with Lola without doing shopping and cleaning as well. 5 days a week was just too much having to get all the housework done and try to spend time with my 10 month old little girl in just two days. I felt really selfish, and quite down about it.

Not to mention the Nursery costs for a full week!

I thought as time went on it would get easier too, but it’s actually just got harder. I want to spend more time with her and realising that in a year and a half’s time she’ll be starting school, I keep asking myself if I should be at home with her more?

Don’t get me wrong, I would still want her to be at Nursery on some days as I think it’s brilliant for kids, it builds their confidence, lets them get used to being around other children and she’s become such a little character since starting Nursery.

With Nursery also comes lots of illness’s which is another factor. I feel guilty for not being able to stay at home with her sometimes when she’s poorly because of work commitments, but at the same time I feel guilty for not going in work too.

How the hell am I suppose to win?

Obviously, she’s my baby and she will always come first, but quitting work isn’t an option for me right now and it can be so hard – especially going work on sleepless nights. Cutting down on anymore days also isn’t an option.

I’m not sure what will happen in the future, things will change for sure. Myself or Jack will have to do school runs (which are after I start work and before I finish) and somehow manage school holidays.

I shouldn’t feel guilty for being a 9-5 working parent, but I do.

Are you a working parent? Get in touch and let us know how you feel about your situation.

Do you feel that companies should have more options in place for full time parents? Maybe more options to work from home in certain circumstances?

Here’s my little bundle on her first visit to work.

Happy Reading x

Mum Muddling Through