We love our children, but my god the things they do to you. I’ve had 3 whole years of being a mother now, and I’m sure I loose the plot a little more as the years go by.
1.You rock everything in sight
Have you ever found yourself hanging on to something and slightly rocking it like you would with a babies pushchair? I’d be sitting on the sofa and be pushing something back and forth with my feet, even with Lola upstairs in bed. Don’t mind me here just rocking an empty car seat, its a habit I promise!
2. The same goes for ‘the sway’
You know that sway you do with a newborn… I was still swaying 8 months down the line. In the kitchen making a cup of tea, the washing basket balanced on my hip, you get the idea. Although, without the actual baby in your arms it tends to just look like a VERY horrendous kind of salsa dance.
3. You start calling your partner daddy… and not in a kinky way!
Ever found yourself shouting across the room “Daddy just grab that for me” and yes its slightly weird. And creepy. It’s like WHY, WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT? Imagine not actually being able to stop and your walking round Asda calling each other mummy and daddy. I reckon you might be reported.
4. You now catch someone else’s bodily fluids in your hands
I’m guilty of trying to catch sick. Don’t ask me why… I just panic. It seems the better option at the time to catch it rather then let it go all over the bed, but there’s always too much so it goes on the bed anyway. Your also now just covered in sick. Great.
Don’t even get me started on snot.
5. Violent thoughts
Even the most placid of parents, start to think of the pleasure they would get from jabbing Mr Tumble in the throat, or kicking Peppa down that big hill of hers.
6. You shut off to all sound
When the little sweethearts go through that stage of repeating a question 10’000 times, us mums have that great switch to shut off and completely ignore you. Sorry kiddo.
7. You start telling all kinds of lies
Small lies, big lies, completely stupid lies, we’re telling them! That small little lie has just saved us an hours worth of tantrums, or has blessed us with an on time bedtime… so who’s really the winner? Have a read of funny lies parents tell their children
8. You congratulate another human on having a poo
Like why? Imagine if my husband came upstairs and said “Wonderful job babe you can do it!” HAA
9. You start using your child to moan at your partner
I literally do this all the time, AND I LOVE IT. It’s a kind of nice way to moan at him without actually moaning.
“Yes Lola, your daddy is very silly, he needs to put that washing out before mummy puts him on the naughty step”
10. Your talking in baby?
Baby talk… one of the many mysteries of life. Yet we sit for hours and talk to babies that we can’t understand and often imitate them ourselves. Plus it has to be Extra high pitched.
I’m 100% crazier then I was before I had a child, I mumble and swear to myself often, wear clothes inside out when its been a long night, and I’ve spent many nights asleep in a babies cot – curled up in a ball.
I wouldn’t have it any other way!
When you have kids, the crazier you are, the better.
Happy reading x